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The Choices We Make
by T'Shael
Chapter 19
Sephiroth walked into the guest room. Aeris things were scattered around the room. Elmyra had
left things just as they were when Aeris disappeared. The bed was rumpled, the covers thrown
back. Her slippers were on the floor near the side of the bed. He picked up her brush and
touched the golden brown hair trapped there. Turning away from the bed, he went to the window
and looked out. Had Aeris stood at this window wondering why he'd never called?
He caught sight of himself in the mirror on the dresser. Sephiroth stared at his reflection. He
was still in his battle wear. If he didn't contact Russell soon and ask for a leave of absence, he
would be considered AWOL. His eyes hardened. Until he found his wife, he wanted nothing
more to do with Shinra or this uniform. He left the room.
Barret and Elmyra were talking in the living room. Elmyra stood up.
"I haven't cleaned the room yet. Are you going to be uncomfortable there?"
"The room is fine," answered Sephiroth. "I need to go out for a while."
"Where?" asked Barret suspiciously. "If Aeris is alive, we want help you find her. Don't try to
sneak out of here alone."
For Elmyra's sake, Sephiroth didn't voice his irritation at Barret's words.
"I need to purchase a change of clothing," he said. "I'm out of the military
until I find my wife."
"Does that mean you're going right back after you find her?" asked Barret.
"Barrie, please!" said Elmyra.
Barret looked her. "Sorry Ellie."
He turned to Sephiroth again. "The others will meet here tomorrow morning. We need to come
up with a plan to search for her. Is that all right with you?"
"I don't have a problem with that," answered Sephiroth. "I appreciate any help I can get."
That wasn't the answer Barret expected and it showed. Sephiroth didn't give him a chance to
speak again. He walked past the couple. He turned at the door.
"I'll be back soon Elmyra," he said.
She smiled. "Dinner will be ready by the time you get back."
Sephiroth nodded. He left the house and walked toward the small shopping center. The men's
clothing shop was still open. Sephiroth moved down the rows looking for suitable clothes. Once
he introduced himself to his customer, the shopkeeper left him alone. He intervened only when
Sephiroth asked a question. When Sephiroth found the things he wanted, he took them to the
counter. The shopkeeper was pleased. Sephiroth's purchases were the largest purchase in a
week.
"I've just come from a military exercise," said Sephiroth. "I'm not carrying cash. If you will call
the mayor of Icicle Village, he will have my bank wire funds to you immediately. I assure you,
I'm good for the cash."
Ordinarily, the shopkeeper would have thrown such a customer out of his shop on their ear, but
this was Sephiroth. He smiled nervously and called the mayor. The mayor not only guaranteed
the money, he paid the extra charge for a courier himself. He asked to speak to Sephiroth. The
shopkeeper handed the phone over. The Mayor congratulated Sephiroth on his new career but
his last words were an invitation for Sephiroth to return to the Village and his old job if he
decided he was getting tired of being the Commander. The villagers missed him. Sephiroth
thanked him and hung up.
The courier arrived from the Rocket Town Bank in less than ten minutes. Although the
shopkeeper assured Sephiroth he was free to go, Sephiroth insisted on waiting until the money
was properly counted. That done, he left the shop . . . and almost ran into Cloud. He gave Cloud
a frosty look and tried to pass. Cloud blocked his path again.
"I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now," he said in a warning voice. "I suggest you get
out of my way."
"We need to talk Sephiroth," said Cloud.
"Get out of my way." Sephiroth took a step forward but Cloud didn't budge.
"I didn't come here to fight with Sephiroth," said Cloud. "I came to talk."
"I don't have anything to say to you," said Sephiroth. "Move!"
"Look," said Cloud in a voice as cold as Sephiroth's. "I don't like you and you don't like me, but
we're both after the same thing. We want to find Aeris. Put your feelings for me aside for a
while. I want to call a truce."
"A truce?" Sephiroth glowered at him. "Why would I want a truce with you?"
"Because you need me," answered Cloud. "You and I are the only two like us on this Planet. We
both have Jenova cells and special abilities we're learning more about each day. If conventional
methods can't help Aeris find her way back home, you and I may have to join forces again to
save her. Don't forget about Jenova!"
Sephiroth was silent. If it wasn't for Cloud, Jenova would have made him kill Aeris and his
unborn children. He fought reluctance to work with Cloud.
"What do you want to do?" he asked.
Cloud pointed to a coffee shop across the street. "We can talk there."
They walked across the street and entered the shop. A waitress led them to a table. Sephiroth put
his bags on seat next to him. The waitress waited for their orders.
"I'll have coffee with cream and sugar," said Cloud.
Sephiroth smirked at him. "I take mine black."
"Maybe that's your problem," said Cloud as the waitress walked away.
"What problem?" asked Sephiroth.
"You ought to use cream and sugar sometimes," answered Cloud. "It might change your
disposition."
Sephiroth scowled at him. "If you drank yours black, maybe I wouldn't have had you on the
ground."
"I seem to recall you were on the ground at least twice," replied said Cloud. "I can still see dirt
on your clothes."
"I wouldn't talk," snapped Sephiroth. "You've still got leaves in your hair."
They glared at each other.
The waitress brought two cups of steaming hot coffee.
Cloud ignored Sephiroth while he stirred in his cream and sugar. He picked up his cup and tasted
the hot liquid. It was perfect.
Sephiroth gave Cloud an indulgence smile and took a bigger sip of his.
They glared at each other.
"You're still in love with Aeris," said Sephiroth suddenly. "You haven't let go, even now."
Caught off guard, Cloud blinked.
Sephiroth waited.
"Your anger toward me regarding Aeris is justified." Cloud put his cup down. "I still have
feelings for her."
Sephiroth put his cup down. His face was expressionless.
"You've sensed it all along," said Cloud. "That's why you get so angry when I go near her. My
feelings for her began in a little church in Midgar long ago and they didn't die when she did. I
wish I could reach in my head and turn off the switch that makes it so, but I can't. I'm always
going to have those feelings in my heart. You can't beat them out of me and killing me won't
change a thing. You know as well as I do, Aeris is special. I knew that when I first met her. It
tore me apart when you killed her."
Sephiroth did say a word. His eyes never left Cloud's face.
"Avenging her death, is what kept me coming after you. I hated you for what you did. After I
killed you, I thought the pain would go away but it didn't. I would have withered away if it
wasn't for Tifa. She brought me back to life again. I didn't really get to know her until Aeris was
gone. I love her. The love I feel for Tifa is different from the love I feel for Aeris, but I honestly
love my wife."
Cloud looked at the ring on his finger. "Tifa and I are going to have a baby. I hope we have
more in the future. I'd never do anything to hurt her or my children. I'm looking forward to the
day we're an old couple with grandchildren playing around our feet. Aeris thinks of me as her
friend Sephiroth. She loves you, not me. She'd never see me behind your back and I wouldn't
want her to. I love her, but I love her enough to let her go. If you're the man who makes her
happy, then I can live with that."
"Can you?" asked Sephiroth. "Can you really accept our marriage?'
Cloud sighed.
Yes, but I'd be lying if I didn't say sometimes I don't. Especially when I think you're acting like
a jerk," admitted Cloud. "I want you to understand that as far as Aeris goes, I'm not a threat to
you."
"Why are you telling me this?" asked Sephiroth. "All I've ever heard from you is how much you
hate me for what I did to Nibelheim."
"You killed my mother," said Cloud. "You killed Tifa's father and all of our neighbors."
"You know what happened then," said Sephiroth. "I would never have hurt those people under
normal circumstances."
"That doesn't make it any easier for me," said Cloud. "My mother is gone!"
"So is mine!" Sephiroth turned his face away trying to keep Cloud from seeing the emotion in
his eyes. "My father killed my mother making me! He lied to me about her death. He made me a
monster!"
"Hojo didn't kill my mother," said Cloud. "You did."
"Yes! Because the monster my father used to make me with, to make you with, used me to work
her will!"
Sephiroth turned and Cloud saw anger burning deep in his eyes.
"I hated Hojo. I hated him so much I wanted him dead!" Sephiroth closed his eyes for a moment.
"He never told me who he was. He let me go on believing I was all alone in the world. I was
nothing more to him than a bug. A monster!"
"Then we're both monsters," said Cloud, "Because he did the same thing to me."
Sephiroth didn't seem to hear. "When Aeris told me the truth in the Lifestream, I wanted to stay
dead. I didn't want to come back."
Cloud looked at Sephiroth in surprise. "You didn't?"
Sephiroth shook his head. "I was so ashamed of what I'd done, I asked the Cetra who wanted to
revive me, to let me die permanently."
"The Cetra brought you back?" This was news to Cloud. "I thought Aeris found you and brought
you back on her own."
Sephiroth shook his head again. "They gave me a choice to help Aeris save the Planet or die
permanently. I wanted to die, but Aeris forced me to come back."
"How?"
"She told me I owed her that much for killing her and cheating her out of her life."
Cloud was silent.
"I was going to help her then go back to the Ancient City to die. The Cetra would have taken
back the life they gave me. I was coming to tell Aeris I loved her, when I heard her telling you,
she'd always love you."
"She said that all right," said Cloud, "But she also told me, she didn't love me the way she loved
you."
"I didn't hear that part," said Sephiroth. "I left to get the chocobo, so that I could give up my life.
If Aeris hadn't stopped me at the ramp when she did. I wouldn't be here now."
* * * * *
Outside the coffee shop, Tifa rushed up to Cid.
"Where are they?" she asked anxiously.
Cid pointed. "Sitting right there as pretty as you please."
Tifa looked where he indicated and reeled back. She would have fallen if Cid hadn't caught her.
"Are you alright?" he asked. "Do you feel ill?"
"I'm fine." Tifa sounded dazed. "They're sitting together talking. They aren't fighting!"
"I'm suffering from shock too," said Cid. "This is hard to believe."
"It's one for the book!" Tifa frowned. "I wonder what they're talking about?"
* * * * *
"I told you she was special," said Cloud.
"You don't have to tell me that," said Sephiroth.
They stared at each other. Cloud spoke first.
"I don't what will happen between you and me after we find Aeris, but I want to end our
hostilities until we do. We'll have a better chance of success if we work together. If Aeris is in
danger, fighting now might cost her life. We have to find her before she goes into labor."
"I've been thinking the same thing," said Sephiroth. "I want to be there when my children are
born."
"Can we call a truce then?" asked Cloud.
Sephiroth stared into Cloud's blue eyes, then slowly held out his hand. Cloud reached out and
took it. They shook hands.
"Truce," said Sephiroth.
Cloud nodded and let go. "Truce. AVALANCHE will be meet at Elmyra's after breakfast.
Somehow we'll come up with a plan to save Aeris."
Sephiroth picked up his bags. "Tomorrow then."
He stood up and left the shop leaving his coffee virtually untouched on the table. Cloud stood
up, took another sip and wiped his mouth. He laid gil on the table to pay for both drinks and a tip
for the waitress.
He left the shop.
He didn't see Cid and Tifa peeking out the door of another shop across the way. They looked
after Cloud and Sephiroth, then looked at each other. They shrugged.
* * * * *
Although Barret wanted to bring Marlene and join Elmyra for dinner, she insisted on spending
the time alone with Sephiroth. Reluctantly Barret joined Cloud and Tifa with Yuffie and Vahun
at Cid's house.
Elmyra told Sephiroth the story of her life and how she'd found Aeris. Not really knowing why
he was opening himself up this way to Cloud or his mother-in-law, Sephiroth told her about
meeting his mother in the Lifestream. When he was finished Elmyra looked at him in wonder.
"I'm so happy you had that chance," she said. "Aeris was very young when her mother died.
What little she knows are fragmented pieces of what she says are more like dreams than
memories."
"Her mother couldn't meet her in the Lifestream," said Sephiroth. "But someday they will."
"You will too. Aeris told me that much." Elmyra smiled at him. "I tried to fix Aeris up with one
young man or another, but she fought me all the way. Now I know why. She had to wait for
you."
"I don't know anything about that," replied Sephiroth, "I'm just happy she came into my life. I
only regret it happened under less than pleasant circumstances."
"It's what was meant to be." Elmyra took his hands.
Sephiroth was surprised to find it didn't bother him. He didn't really like to be touched by
anyone other than Aeris.
"Maybe the it was part of the Cetra's plans that Aeris had to be willing to give up her life for the
Planet," said Elmyra. "If she hadn't, would she have been given the chance to come back with
you? Maybe it was a test to see if she was worthy."
"Of what?"
"I don't know." Elmyra shrugged. "But whatever it was, she passed it. You're alive and together
aren't you?"
"You sound like Aeris," he said.
Elmyra smiled. "Where do you think she gets it from?"
He couldn't argue with that.
They talked for a long time before Sephiroth went to bed. He'd never spent so much time talking
to anyone other than Aeris and Vincent. It was a strange new experience. As he listened to
Elmyra talk, Sephiroth wondered what talks with his mother would have been like. When
Jenova talked to him, her conversations were not this type. All she talked about was death and
destruction.
What would it have been like to grow up with loving parents? The closest he had come to that
was his relationship with Professor Gast. Sephiroth missed the times they spent together. He
tried to picture having a normal conversation with Hojo and failed. Hojo had many talents but
being a loving father wasn't one of them.
Before he went to bed, Sephiroth gazed out the window at the darkness beyond the pane. He
knew Aeris was alive but there was no way of knowing where she was. Was she thinking about
him? Was she well? For the first time in his life he felt totally helpless. Was that why he
accepted Cloud's truce?
He thought back to their conversation. He'd accepted Cloud's invitation to sit down and talk
more out of curiosity than anything else. When Cloud confessed his feelings for Aeris,
Sephiroth wondered why he hadn't grabbed the blonde man by the throat and finished him off.
The rush of jealousy he'd felt was all but overwhelming. Somehow he'd held it back until Cloud
said he loved Aeris enough to let her go. That was something Sephiroth understood. He'd almost
done the same thing himself when he thought Aeris was in love with Cloud.
Life was full of strange twists of fate. When Sephiroth lived in Hojo's lab and suffered the
coldness of his touch, no one could have convinced him his life would change so drastically.
Sephiroth's hope for getting away from Hojo died with Professor Gast.
He didn't know the Professor was leaving him a precious gift that would save him in the end.
Aeris was that gift. Neither he nor Aeris knew that before they met on the altar, but Sephiroth
knew it now. He closed his eyes and thanked the Professor for saving him from himself.
Turning away from the window, Sephiroth climbed into bed. Elmyra wanted to change the linens
but he wouldn't let her. Aeris' scent was here. It was all he had left until he found her again.
When he found her this time, he'd never let anyone separate them again. Not even SOLDIER.
He closed his eyes to sleep.
Shirtless, barefoot and wearing only pajama bottoms, he was standing in front of Elmyra's
house in the dark. What was he doing outside? He had no memory of getting out of bed or
opening the door. He tried the doorknob. It was locked. He was just about to knock on the door
when he had the feeling someone was watching him. He turned around.
"Aeris!"
She was standing barefoot, a few yards away dressed in a nightgown. A blanket covered her
head like a shawl. The rest of the fabric draped around her.
"Aeris!" called Sephiroth again.
She turned and walked away.
"Aeris, wait!" Sephiroth went after her, but something was wrong with his legs. He wanted to
run, but it felt as though he was running through heavy syrup. His legs moved slowly not matter
how hard he tried to force them to go faster. Aeris wasn't having the same problem. She was
moving further and further away.
"Aeris!"
She didn't look back. Sephiroth kept running after her in that maddeningly slow way. By the time,
he reached the outskirts of Rocket Town, Aeris was gone. He stopped, looking around
frantically.
"Aeris where are you?"
Only the mournful cry of the wind answered him. Sephiroth looked toward town uncertainly.
Had she gone back? When he turned around again she was standing in front of him, a short
distance away. Aeries was not alone. She held two babies in her arms. Standing next to her was
a figure wrapped in dark robes. Sephiroth couldn't see the figure's face, but somehow he knew
he was looking at a man.
"Who are you?" he asked. "What are you doing with my wife?"
The man in robes didn't answer. He turned to Aeris and held out his hands. There was
something strange about Aeris' eyes. There was no warmth in her face. She looked at him as if
she didn't know him. She turned to the man beside her and let him take one of the babies from
her arms.
The man in robes didn't cradle the baby the way Aeris had. He took the child by one of it's legs
and pulled it out of her arms. He held it up and out toward Sephiroth. Sephiroth cried out in rage.
The man put one of his hands inside his robes and brought out a knife.
"No!" Sephiroth tried to move and found his feet rooted to the ground.
The baby was crying now. Aeris was unresponsive. She didn't pay any attention to what was
going on right beside her. The man gave the baby a vicious shake. It squealed in pain and cried
louder. Sephiroth knew the man was smiling inside his hood.
Sephiroth forced himself forward, one leg and then the other. His legs felt as if they weighed
fifty pounds each. He couldn't move fast enough to prevent what happened next.
Holding the baby in one hand, and the knife in the other, the stranger turned away blocking
Sephiroth's view. His knife arm went up and came down. The baby's cries ceased. When the
stranger turned around again, all he had in his hands was the knife. The other hand was covered
with blood. He held out his hand for the last baby and Aeris gave it to him.
"NO!" screamed Sephiroth. He was still moving forward slowly. The robed man wrapped his
knife arm around Aeris' waist. Holding the infant by the leg, they turned and walked away. The
ground was sloped. They dropped below the horizon before Sephiroth reached the top of the hill.
They were not on the other side. He was standing there puzzled when someone shoved him in
the back.
Sephiroth fell down the hill rolling and tumbling. When he finally rolled to a stop, he found
himself lying at the edge of two small open graves. Filled with dread, Sephiroth pulled himself
to the edge of the first one and looked in. It was empty. So was the second. He sagged in relief,
then his ears picked up the faint sound of a baby crying.
He stood up looking around. The first cry was joined by a second. His children were calling him
the only way they could.
I hear you, he thought, but I can't find you.
Before him were bushes that rose over seven feet tall. Sephiroth's eyes picked out an opening in
the tangled mass. He crept forward cautiously. Pushing his way through he stepped out into a
room that looked strangely familiar. There was a fireplace but no fire behind the grate. Stairs in
a corner led up to another floor. Looking up, he saw a small window. He saw the rise of the
ground beyond. He was in a basement. Sephiroth looked away from the window, expecting to see
a chocobo in the corner. Aeris was laying on a blanket in the middle of the floor pressing her
hands against her very pregnant stomach. There was desperate look in her eyes.
"Aeris."
Sephiroth moved forward. A sudden blast of wind rocked him back on his heels. He was blinded
by a cloud of dust. He managed to keep himself from falling but it took a few seconds for his
vision to clear. The stranger was back. He was crouched next to Aeris holding a knife. Aeris sat
up looking as if it didn't bother her in the least.
Sephiroth looked at the stranger. The hood had fallen back from a face covered hidden under
wild black bangs, a beard and mustache. Long strands of dirty black hair framed glowing black
eyes filled with spite and madness. He grinned at Sephiroth and raised the knife. Aeris moved
her hands away from her stomach and lay down on the blanket like an offering. Her face was
turned toward Sephiroth with an expression of total indifference.
Sephiroth stared at her in disbelief, then raised his eyes to the stranger. The man smiled and
grasped the knife in both hands. Sephiroth heard his unborn babies calling to him, reaching out
with their voices. They were crying . . . crying . . . crying . . .
"NO!" Sephiroth leaped forward as the knife came down and his children screamed . . .
He sat up in bed. "DON'T HURT MY CHILDREN!"
He was still shouting when Elmyra rushed into his room and turned on the light. He stopped and
blinked in the brightness.
"My goodness!" she cried. "What is it? Did you see the prowler?"
He looked look at her blankly. "I had a bad dream. About Aeris."
"You scared me half to death," Elmyra entered the room and sat on the dressing table chair with
her hand over her heart.
Sephiroth dropped his feet to the floor and turned toward her. "What prowler?"
"Oh," Elmyra was trying to compose herself. "Aeris woke up screaming one night. She said
there was someone at the window. Barret didn't find anyone though. We thought it was probably
a burglar looking for a quick break in. He didn't come back."
Sephiroth stared at her. It made her uncomfortable.
"Someone was watching my wife?"
"Just that once," answered Elmyra. "If it wasn't for the flattened grass, I would have put it down
to imagination, like the day she thought something or someone was hiding in the grass watching
her."
She saw Sephiroth's expression and froze.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Aeris didn't walk in her sleep," he said. "Someone took her."
"How?" Elmyra looked shocked. "The door was opened from the inside."
Sephiroth thought he knew how, but he didn't want to scare Elmyra any worse than she was.
"We have to call AVALANCHE together now," he said.
It was five o'clock in the morning, but Elmyra didn't argue the point.
"Use the phone in the living room," she said, as she hurried out the door. "I'll make coffee."
Sephiroth called the Rocket Town Inn and asked to be connected to Cloud's room.
"Do you know what time it is?" asked the clerk.
"This is Sephiroth," he said. "Do you want me to come over there?"
"One moment please sir."
He heard a phone ringing.
"I hope this isn't a wrong number," said Cloud's sleepy voice.
"It's Sephiroth."
"Sephiroth?" Cloud sat up in bed.
"I know where Aeris is." Sephiroth gripped the receiver so tight it creaked. "If we don't get there
before they're born, my children will be murdered."
Douran-no-Anime.com was registered on March 21, 2000. Douran no Anime™ was established on March 23, 2000. As of Tuesday, April 11, 2000, this site was previously visited 179 times.